The Long, Dark Education of the Soul

Confusion

Tue, 17 Apr 2007 21:22:21 GMT

It's been a while since I've been here. A lot has happened. I'm writing because I don't really feel like writing any of the fictions I'm working on... this shooting in Virginia has messed with me somehow. It's strange. I'm not used to caring like this. I prefer sarcasm over earnestness. After 9/11, I was in shock for a day or two, but then I was ready to move on, seemingly sooner than almost anyone else I knew. And I'm not sure that ever hit me emotionally the way that this has. Maybe it's because I graduate in three weeks, and this was at a college campus. I often sleep with the television on, and last night I fell asleep to the reports of the incident on CNN. This morning I woke up and they were listing the victims, and one of the first ones they talked about was a senior, a RA, a triple major, and I thought "I bet he was going to graduate soon." And I just started crying. So this time is different somehow: it's hit me pretty hard, but I don't know what that means or how to react. It's very confusing.

I'm already in a very strange place because of the graduation and what'll come after, and the thing is, I don't know. Canada fell apart this weekend, at least for the time being. I just can't get the money for it. No one's willing to co-sign a loan with me. My parents finally told me no this weekend. I am so sick of needing other people's help. I wish they'd told me weeks ago, because now a lot of other options are problematic at best. I had two long conferences with professors yesterday, and I'll have another one this evening. They all want me to try to find a graduate school with an assistantship. Most I would have had to apply for back in February. Or maybe I should just start writing.

But whatever happens, I think I need a new start. My parents want me to live at home, start working, and try to save some money. I find that thought almost unbearable. But at least I'm here. I hope you're all still here, too. And horrible things might happen sometimes, but sometimes things just work themselves out, too.

Drastic

Wed, 14 Mar 2007 05:05:05 GMT

I'm sure the readers here are more than familiar with this theme, but I've been feeling overwhelmed lately. By the future. I know what I want to do, and I think I can do it (though that worry's there too). It's how to go about it. I need to make the decision very soon as to whether I'm applying for Film school in the fall. I want to go to that one in Canada, and I think I'll be accepted and everything. It's just that I don't have much money. Almost none, in fact. I'm making some now, but not enough. My mom keeps telling me that I should wait a year, work full time (though I have much less confidence in my full-time job-finding skills), then apply. She says "hardly anyone goes straight to grad school". Except absolutely everyone I know, I guess. Tonight, Marissa agreed with her. But it feels... wrong. And I can't escape the creeping idea that if I do this it will never, NEVER happen. I'm hemming and hawing on it, and I'm panicking because that gives me that "never happen" feeling, too.

So... in other, less drastic news, school is back in session. I totally flaked on my screenplay, partially because of recent "Watchers" crises, partially because I have a severe case of senioritis. By great coincidence, I found out this week I made the Dean's List. Unseasonably warm today. I wore a coat even so, mostly because I discovered in the past couple days that a black coat and sunglasses is "my look". I'm such a dork.

"Heroes" this week was very good, yet again. That show's got it nailed. Malcolm McDowell's appearance as Lindermann was spectacular. "Battlestar Galactica" had a riveting episode (to me... other people thought it was boring) about Apollo and the lawyer for Baltar's trial. The lawyer was played very... strangely by the guy who played Badger on "Firefly". (I also have been watching an episode of "The X-Files" where he plays a guy who can... control fire or something, literally as I write this).

I'm busy and yet at loose ends. I'm going a little crazy.

Stingers

Mon, 05 Mar 2007 16:25:06 GMT

I helped Chris move out of his apartment downtown yesterday, the one I would kill for. Susan was there, too, and Tim showed up briefly to help haul the television and its even heavier stand around. Once I got home I hemmed and hawed over writing. Lay on the couch for a while. Cooked dinner. Things like that.

Mom is in Pittsburgh for my Aunt Rita's funeral. Actually, she's my great aunt, but that's what everyone called her. My mom was pretty close to her, and she's somewhat shook up, I think. I'm writing this during songs on the radio. Currently Dashboard Confessional, next +44. Later I have a dentist's appointment. I think that everyone should get anesthesia when they go to the dentist. It would make things so much better, probably in life in general.

TV-wise, we got two spectacular episodes this week: "Company Man" on "Heroes" received nearly universal acclaim on the net as a masterpiece (except from the hatas), and will have far-reaching consquences, despite only concentrating on a few of our characters. They turned up the epic meter to 11, too, with that climactic sequence, and then the scene on the bridge following it. As Tim Kring himself said, "Heroes is the show where shit happens."

My Chemical Romance now, Wallflowers next.

Then there was "Battlestar Galactica" last night, which grabbed the entertainment headlines today with "Maelstrom". It was just spectacular. I don't want to spoil foreign people silly, so this bit'll be behind a cut:

Starbuck is dead. Maybe. Kind of. I'm still not convinced she isn't one of the Final Five. But she got over her mommy issues. And then she blew up. And then Adama broke his little ship. I liked what zap2it.com said, which was that Starbuck's personality consisted entirely of the crazy, and when the got rid of the crazy in this episode, she no longer had any reason for existing. Or something. It was a very strange death... almost suicide, in fact. I wonder what Sci-Fi Channel thought they were getting with this show, and if it was this. And while I'm perturbed at the idea of less Katee Sackhoff, this episode worked for me. On pretty much all the levels.

I'll talk to ya'll later.

Brief

Sat, 03 Mar 2007 21:22:25 GMT

It's Spring Break, though for whatever reason it doesn't quite feel like it. It could be the fact that I've run out of money. I haven't started getting paychecks from the radio station yet, and the trip to Albuquerque cleaned me out. I thought today "it might be nice to walk down to the comics store", but then I realized that I didn't have enough money for comics. And on Spring Break, you can't use your fake college money for things.

I need to start applying to places this week, for the next step. I finally got my passport in, so I can try out the Canadian stuff. I also have thirty pages (at least) to write this week between "Watchers" and Screenwriting class, and I feel stuck. My current "Watchers" episode feels broken, and we're arguing right now about how to fix it. That hasn't really happened to me before.

I managed to see "Zodiac" on Chris' dime yesterday and I was still talking about it an hour after it finished. A very atypical movie, with so much going on. I'm not going to get started again right now. I did like a tagline I saw today: "There's more than one way to lose your life." I really could relate to some of the obsessive personalities playing out on the screen. But, while it never lost my interest, it was very long and it felt like it. This was a movie that aspired to be a TV show, even with a limited run. But I'll save the "TV is better than movies now" argument for another time. (Most people seem to use "24" or "The Sopranos" among their example for that argument... and I've never really cared about either. Which I guess shows TV has depth.)

Dan Picks the Oscars

Sun, 25 Feb 2007 20:44:20 GMT

It's that time of year again. I'm a big fan of movies. I'm a big fan of making lists. This I'm a fan of the Oscars. Here we go...

BEST PICTURE
Will Win: Babel - Well, at least it's better than "Crash".
Should Win: The Departed - There were several movies I went to this year where I walked out feeling like I'd just seen a masterpiece. Only one is up for Best Pic.
Why aren't they nominated?: Casino Royale - Why isn't the most entertaining movie of the year usually up in this category? You're telling me there were 5 movies in 1983 better than "Back to the Future"? Those of us who thought "Return of the King"'s win opened this up for big fun action movies seem to have been wrong. "Casino Royale" is probably the best reviewed big fun movie of the year.

BEST DIRECTOR
Will Win: Martin Scorsese - The Departed - Best Pic is wide open, but Director doesn't seem to be.
Should Win: Martin Scorsese - The Departed - He's obviously way overdue. This is to make up for "Raging Bull", and "Goodfellas", and "Taxi Driver", and... you get the point.
Why aren't they nominated?: Alfonso Cuaron - Children of Men - Whatever you think of the movie, and I understand it has flaws, the directing technique displayed was certainly the best of the year.

BEST ACTOR
Will Win: Forest Whitaker - The Last King of Scotland - He's won every award in the run-up.
Should Win: Ryan Gosling - Half Nelson - I've only seen the trailer for this movie, but just from that one gets the sense of a very nuanced, natural, and yet powerful performance.
Why aren't they nominated?: Sacha Baron Cohen - Borat - You know you wanted it. The biggest factor in that movie's success is the sheer force of his personality.

BEST ACTRESS
Will Win: Helen Mirren - The Queen - She's the biggest lock in a major category in years.
Should Win: Kate Winslet - Little Children - This is at least partly a protest pick against Mirren... I never quite understood what the big deal was about her performance.
Why aren't they nominated?: Kirsten Dunst - Marie Antoinette - I thought this was one of the most underrated movies of the year, and you could have played the whole thing on Dunst's face.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
Will Win: Eddie Murphy - Dreamgirls - He's got all the momentum, though this isn't a lock: Arkin or Wahlberg have outside shots.
Should Win: Mark Wahlberg - The Departed - Amidst every male movie star on the planet in this movie, he stole every scene he was in. "I'm the guy who does his job, you must be the other guy" might be my favorite line from any of this year's major movies.
Why aren't they nominated?: Jack Nicholson - The Departed - This performance seemed to me to have Oscar written all over it. What happened?

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Will Win: Jennifer Hudson - Dreamgirls - She is pretty impressive, though her acting seems to be much better when she's singing than when she isn't.
Should Win: Rinko Kikuchi - Not really wanting to pick Hudson or a little girl (Breslin was great in "Little Miss Sunshine", but is what she did really acting?) I was not real impressed with this bunch of nominees.
Why aren't they nominated?: Jessica Biel - The Illusionist - This is where I give props to two of the most overlooked movies in this race, the "The Prestige" and "The Illusionist", which are two very different films but will always be grouped together in people's minds. Biel might have delivered the year's most mesmerizing performance.

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
Will Win: Michael Arndt - Little Miss Sunshine - This movie was mostly good because of its script, and people get that.
Should Win: Michael Arndt - Little Miss Sunshine - I get it too.
Why aren't they nominated?: Stranger Than Fiction - The year's most metafictional movie... and I loves me my metafiction.

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
Will Win: William Monahan - The Departed - How many remakes far surpass the original?
Should Win: William Monahan - The Departed - Well, they should.
Why aren't they nominated?: Thank You For Smoking - This was an awesome movie that seemed to me to be, a la Little Miss Sunshine, mostly good because of its script.

BEST ANIMATED FEATURE
Will Win: Cars
Should Win: Happy Feet
Why aren't they nominated?: A Scanner Darkly

BEST FORIEGN LANGUAGE FILM
Will Win: Pan's Labyrinth
Should Win: Pan's Labyrinth
Why Aren't They Nominated?: The Curse of the Golden Flower

BEST DOCUMENTARY
Will Win: An Inconvient Truth
Should Win: Jesus Camp
Why aren't they nominated?: Wordplay

BEST ART DIRECTION
Will Win: Pan's Labyrinth
Should Win: Pan's Labyrinth
Why aren't they nominated?: Marie Antoinette

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY
Will Win: Pan's Labyrinth
Should Win: Children of Men
Why aren't they nominated?: The Fountain

BEST FILM EDITING
Will Win: Babel
Should Win: Children of Men
Why aren't they nominated?: Casino Royale

BEST ORIGINAL SCORE
Will Win: The Queen
Should Win: Pan's Labyrinth
Why aren't they nominated?: The Fountain

BEST ORIGINAL SONG
Will Win: "Listen" from Dreamgirls
Should Win: "I Need to Wake Up" from An Inconvenient Truth
Why aren't they nominated?: "Upside Down" from Curious George

BEST SOUND EDITING
Will Win: Letters from Iwo Jima
Should Win: Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
Why aren't they nominated?: V for Vendetta

BEST SOUND MIXING
Will Win: Dreamgirls
Should Win: Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
Why aren't they nominated?: Happy Feet

BEST MAKEUP
Will Win: Pan's Labyrinth
Should Win: Pan's Labyrinth
Why aren't they nominated?: Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest

BEST COSTUMES
Will Win: Dreamgirls
Should Win: The Curse of the Golden Flower
Why aren't they nominated?: Apocalypto

BEST VISUAL EFFECTS
Will Win: Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
Should Win: Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
Why aren't they nominated?: X-Men: The Last Stand

Big Words

Sat, 24 Feb 2007 21:54:00 GMT

Here's an idea: an ensemble epic, like "Magnolia" or "Crash" or "Babel". Only instead it's called "North Olmsted" and it's set in suburbia. Instead of "racism is bad" or "people from different countries have trouble understanding each other", its great message will be that people are dumbasses.

I've been very busy between the Programming job at WBWC, writing my screenplay, writing for Watchers, and, oh yeah, classes. It's chilly outside and too hot inside... nobody at this school knows how to set up a thermostat, I think. In response, I am not wearing a shirt right now. That's right, ladies!

I've applied for graduation, and see no reason why they won't approve, though they often find a reason (not one that can't be worked through, but an annoying one nonetheless). There is no perfect example of a bureaucracy that I have yet encountered than the behemoth in the Bonds Administration building.

I don't have that much to say.

Use as many big words as possible, that oughta confuse 'em.

Greetings from Albuquerque

Sat, 17 Feb 2007 01:45:40 GMT

Just saying hey to everyone from Albuquerque, where I'm
attending the 2007 Southwest/Texas PCA/ACA conference. I posted a
while back about how my paper, "Do You Have To Be, Like, Super
Religious?: Private Spirituality vs. Insitutional Christianity in
Buffy the Vampire Slayer," was accepted for presentation at the
conference. I present tomorrow afternoon. It's an academic
conference, which means a lot of the things are pretty dry, with
people just reading their papers. I feel a little bit out of my
depth sometimes, since almost everyone presenting has their
doctorate and is a professor of something. But the presentations
have all been very, very interesting. Some of the topics I've
attended so far are River Tam as a different take on
disability, "Veronica Mars" as a reaction to 9/11, class
consciousness as it relates to "Lost", the portrayal of women in
Terry Pratchett novels, an entire panel solely about Gaius Baltar,
how Willow's lesbianism actually enforces "heteronorming" on Buffy,
theology in Neil Gaiman's "The Sandman" graphic novel series, and a
panel with the authors about a new book called "The Existential Joss
Whedon". Last night all the Whedonverse people got together and had
an OMWF sing-along. They had to move it to a different room because
the first one was too small for the crowd it drew.

Discgolf

Sun, 11 Feb 2007 08:41:25 GMT

I've posted private entries a few times since my last, but I'm starting to get out of touch with you all.

So... Update:

Wednesday was Marissa's 21st, so we got drunk and watched excruciatingly bad movies. Good times. Thursday was a long, strange day that had me in the radio station at midnight updating the music library. Meanwhile, Michael was getting kicked out of the wedding on "The Office". On Friday my alarm didn't go off and I missed morning class. In the afternoon we discussed and categorized various methods of manipulating people in Writing for the Media. I finally got to watch "Lost"... which was better than it had been but still markedly underwhelming, despite a fairly good bus-smashes-into-guy moment. Then I went out with Chris and a very strange group of girls to a bar in Strongsville. Chris was supposed to be on a date with one of them (he asked out his waitress at Max and Erma's... and she said yes... typical), and when he found out her friends were involved I was called in to act as wingman. As a date, it was pretty much a failure (for both of us). All of the girls spent most of their time on the phone and neither of us could get a coherent conversation running. I tried talking to a girl named Val who, as it turns out, is a professional Discgolf player. Very soon we exhausted that topic, as well as what I do at the radio station, and the rest of the evening would have been awkward silence, if not for the kareoke machine. Chris claimed that the entire evening was worth it because of my rendition of "Safety Dance" by Men Without Hats. We left early. Today I mostly did homework in anticipation of missing most of next week because of my trip to Albuquerque. I also went out to Perkins with the folks for dinner, and I must say that what they lack there in quality they make up for in quantity. I later received a call from my friend Tim during "In the Garage", and it just so happened that he was at the very same Perkins. We put him on the air to participate in the ancient "In the Garage" tradition of seeking wisdom from Yoda. He was advised to avoid the chocolate milkshakes. This was after about two minutes of discussion about "the spectacular Perkins ambience."

Now it's late, and I've written a few scenes for "Watchers" in the dark... I also watched an SNL repeat with Kevin Spacey as the host.

Best Magazine in the World: http://www.geekmonthly.com
The current issue has Kristen Bell on the cover.

Postapocalyptic Icescape

Sun, 04 Feb 2007 06:54:12 GMT

That's what I called Berea tonight on the radio. The temperature tonight has hovered around zero, with winds up to forty miles an hour making it feel even colder. I'm glad I have a warm room to stay in, with a television, a laptop, and a stereo. Unfortunately, I probably should have stocked up on food before this whole development, considering I don't have a car and have to walk everywhere. So today I ordered a pizza and ate that for both lunch and dinner. I also had to walk a few blocks to and from the radio station to do my show, which was... not fun. It was a great show though, I think one of our best ever.

I've been super busy with the Programming position at the radio station, combined with, y'know, classes and stuff. My short story "A Big Dragon" is the entire subject of one of my classes on Tuesday. There'll even be a quiz! It's about a "Professional Dragon Exterminator" who has Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

I'm looking forward to the Super Bowl tomorrow. It should be a great game. Some people complain about all the hype surrounding the game, but I love it. I'm being really serious when I say that Super Bowl Sunday is my third favorite holiday after Christmas and my Birthday (and it might be second). The extra stuff is what turns from a sporting event into a holiday. And we don't need less holidays. Earlier tonight I predicted Indianapolis 27-Chicago 21 on the air. Yoda predicted the Bears in a blow out.

Here's a recommendation: The best song ever written about football is "All Kinds of Time" by Fountains of Wayne... which shows their versatility, since it's on the same album as Stacy's Mom. It's strangely transcendant, considering its subject. It's about a "young quarterback" who basically remembers his whole life while he's dropping back in the pocket and then at the crucial moment we get this bit:

He looks to the left
He looks to the right
And there in a golden ray of light
Is his open man
Just like he planned
The whole world is his tonight

(moment of silence)

GUITAR SOLO

Check it out.

The Rant

Sat, 03 Feb 2007 03:18:40 GMT

There was a decent amount of media attention the other week when Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez testified before Congress. But where was the mass outrage when he said (and I'm paraphrasing here, but this is completely true) that the Constitution doesn't say you have a right of Habeas Corpus, it just says they can't take away Habeas Corpus. They can't take away something you don't have in the first place, he said.

Keep in mind that's what the constitution says about almost every right you think you have. Then there was the interview with Vice President Cheney by Wolf Blitzer, which was completely bizarre and hilariously lampooned on the Daily Show. The interview ended when Blitzer noted that Cheney's lesbian daughter is having her own daughter with her partner, then read what Republican ally James Dobson of Focus on the Family has to say about lesbians having children, and asked Cheney to comment. Cheney refused to do so and said he thought Blitzer was out of line.

Here's a newsflash... when you start meddling with other people's families, your own stops being off limits.

I think part of the problem is that the news is always presented as two sides of an issue these days. Some issues don't have two sane sides. Take the climate expert who went on Fox News' Neil Cavuto recently and was forced to defend global warming against some random guy. When he tried to say that global warming was a fact, Cavuto said "you are the one suppressing debate here." This is like having a debate between the idea that the sky is blue and that the sky is orange. One of them is right, and the other isn't. How hard is this to figure out for mainstream America?

You think it's a coincidence that the Groundhog didn't see his shadow this year, for the first time I can remember? <g>

Aqua Teens Try To Blow Up Boston

Thu, 01 Feb 2007 05:28:16 GMT

I present to you one of the dumbest major news stories ever:
http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/01/31/boston.bombscare/index.html

That's right, apparently the city of Boston is so retarded that it thinks the terrorists are making bombs with light-up Mooninites. This is our crack anti-terrorist unit. They better not do something drastic to Aqua Teens because of this. That show is the single biggest reason I don't need drugs.

Suck It, Bitches!

Tue, 30 Jan 2007 05:02:59 GMT

I made it! By some miracle, I was actually elected Program Director at the radio station. I'm now in charge of... lots of things, including what music is played and how much. It also pays a little, which is something I also have been looking for. I had talked myself into a weird state where I was going to be upset when I didn't get it but didn't think I was going to get it, so I was pretty much upset already. So when Nina the Operations Director said congratulations over the phone it was one of the better feelings I've had in a while. A real, actual while. Like... maybe since I've been in college, that long.

It's a little college radio station. I know that. But this really means a lot to me. Maybe more than it's worth, but I don't care. I really have no idea how this happened. And now I'm babbling. I'm happy and I'm babbling.

DANCE MINIONS!

She's a Mercenary, Not a Hussy

Mon, 29 Jan 2007 06:07:12 GMT

It's been snowing here, hard, all day. It refuses to stop. I have a story due Thursday for Creative Writing, and I'm choking on it. I had a plan involving going down the street to the Book & Bean and doing some reading for class, but as soon as I began to put it into effect I realized the ridiculousness of it and went back to my room. I think in some strange trick of my brain I thought I was going to meet girls there... yeah.

Instead I ordered a pizza and watched "Battlestar Galactica".

Best femme fatale name ever: "Molotov Cocktease"

Blood and Pizza

Sun, 28 Jan 2007 07:47:08 GMT

The Minimum Requirements were in-studio on "In the Garage". I'm at my best with other people around, on-air-wise, almost no matter who they are. TMR were good, as usual... they have a new album, "Watch This" out. They came straight from the CD release party. If you buy it you get a DVD with it that includes footage of their last appearance on the show... which means I'm on it, too. It was a great night.

My TV is currently showing "Gryphon"... it's a Sci-Fi Channel movie that features Amber Benson in a sword and a suit of armor. Just to be clear, that is why I'm watching it, if "watching" is indeed the right term for the amount of attention I'm giving to it... whoa! Random twisted sex scene involving a knife just happened. I'm for that... though it's a little strange, seeing her in a hetero sex scene. Plus you have to give props to absolutely horrible Sci-Fi movies. Seriously, "Xena" had better effects than this... and better acting. How did this happen?

As for "Blood and Chocolate"... it's not a bad movie. That's pretty much the level of my endorsement. (It got a 6 out of 10 on the Garagemeter) The first hour is a nice, very otherworldly romance and the last half hour is a halfway decent action movie. I did not really know who Agnes Bruckner was before this, though I'd heard the name... I think now I might be a fan, though none of the men she's playing against do quite as good of a job.

"Do you seduce all your prisoners?" "Only when I want to discover the truth." Oh my God, I love how horrible this movie is... "Gryphon," I mean.

Anyway, back to the werewolves. This was the first movie I've seen based off of the new-school werewolves (unless you count "Underworld", which I suppose was sort of a product of that environment but... not really), the ones with a major place on the romance shelves at Barnes & Noble. Rather than alone, they exist as a separate society, not monsters but a separate species. There's a speech by the male lead where he talks about how it's a "blessing, not a curse". Rather than the bone-crunching transformations of "American Werewolf in London", turning into a wolf is a thing of beauty here, a flying leap and a shine of moonlight. And they use real wolves, not CGI impostors, and trust me when I say you can tell the difference. I rather enjoy the whole subgenre, especially comparatively. They do a good job in this movie of portraying the werewolves as a different race, even when they're in human form; From the first moment we see Agnes Bruckner, we know there's something different about her, the way she carries herself, the way she moves, the way she relates to the world. It's actually a very good performance, and in its own way it's as sexy as Kate Beckinsale in all-leather. She also gets a power shot with a shotgun against a backdrop entirely of absinthe-fueled flames, so that's a plus.

All that said, this is only so good of a movie. The dialogue is usually fairly clunky, though it occasionally manages some nice moments (When Bruckner bids a group of fellow wolves goodbye by saying "May you know the age of hope when you see it" I was still thinking about it after the movie was over). I was never behind the male lead, or really got a sense of who he was, and the plot seems a little too coincidence-driven. When the guy (the character's name is Aiden, I believe) starts killing werewolves left and right, though it's in self-defense I found myself not entirely sympathetic to him, which I think I was supposed to be... this was almost a fatal flaw for the movie. When Bruckner suddenly starts needing a special injection of "AG-287" or some such nonsense to stave off silver poisoning, I thought I'd stumbled into another movie. It seemed like it had two third acts, one right after the other, which didn't quite work. And honestly, sometimes it did get a little YA for my taste, if that makes any sense.

The movie's going to tank at the box office because it's hard to market and it's been so long since there was a remotely good movie like this (in fact, I'm not convinced this movie's ever been made before, so to speak, a miracle in this day and age for an actiony genre movie) that people probably don't think it's possible to even make one. But hey, turns out it is. So check it out if you're one of us who like this kind of thing.

That was the longest review I've done of something in a while. I kind of knew right after the movie that it would be, I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because the sort of movie I'd really like to make is not that different from this one... I loved "The Fountain", but I don't want to devote a bunch of time to writing that script. I like big, fun stories like this.

It was pretty dark even at midday today, though it never really stormed. There was a hard wind that blew right in your face. I had lunch at Capri Pizza, one of my favorite little places. It has that chalky feel, like pizza dough. A few small tables. They play classic rock in the kitchen, "Layla", usually. I sit by myself, wait the ten minutes for them to make the stuff. I read the Free Times. It's thin and floppy, too hot to eat at first, and the cheese has a life of its own.

Snow, Ice, Fire, Blood

Sat, 27 Jan 2007 04:52:23 GMT

Something I haven't done before: gone tobogganing. Did that today. I tried to yell, like you do on a roller coaster, but that eventually turned into the word "Sweet". I close my eyes at times like these, and lay as far back as I can, and feel things drop. And that works on a bunch of levels.

I also ended up far more up-close-and-personal than I'd planned on with some people I only know so well. It was fun.

Ross' glove rubbed on the side of the chute, just for a second. When we got to the bottom, I asked "Is something burning?" Turns out that's all it took to burn a hole through the side of his glove, literally. I don't know why that's important, but it was. (Ross is okay.)

Oh wow, look, there's Figure Skating on TV. I don't even know how to react to that anymore.

I'm seriously considering going to see "Blood and Chocolate" tomorrow afternoon. It appears to be a walking, talking Evanescence song. I'm all for that. I saw a review that called it "Hot Topic: the Movie", which strikes me as a hilarious statement, but not one made by someone who's ever been to Hot Topic. My excuse is to review it for my show. Confession time: if they made "Underworld 3", I would go see it, and this can't possibly be worse than that, could it? (Actually, I suppose it could... it appears to lack Kate Beckinsale in all-leather outfits.)

Figure skaters are choking like Dubya on a pretzel.

They're publishing a novel in Finland that consists of a series of "text messages" between a group of people, with the usual texting dialect (that's right, I called it a dialect) used throughout. I have a theory about how language changes... how if everyone starts spelling a word wrong that's how it should be spelled now. This is of course unpopular in many intellectual circles. Honestly, is there one good reason that "you" isn't spelled "u"? This from Mr. National Spelling Bee.

They're skating to "Requiem From a Dream" music now. Big ups.

On a vaguely related note to the previous, I overheard an African-American student in the cafeteria today: "I have to go back to my room. I have mad reading to do." I was unaware the slang worked in that context. I have to try that. "I don't want to go to class, I'm mad tired." Or "I'm mad horny" Or "I can't believe I'm mad watching these figure skaters, even if they're skating to Clint Mansell."

In the Middle of the Fade

Thu, 25 Jan 2007 06:38:53 GMT

12:43 already? Where did the day go? It gets dark when I wake up, these days.

Lately I've had trouble stringing long paragraphs together when I write. Or perhaps more accurately I've noticed that I've always had trouble stringing together long paragraphs. We've had this discussion before on here... that's the way I like it. I love reading Hemingway and can't make it through Dickens novels. I write in dialogue and short, clipped sentences. My descriptive elements are ever so carefully chosen. I recall a conversation where I told someone that I wasn't very interested in knowing the shirt colors of all the characters... get on with the story! I'm very self-aware about this stuff, and that always makes me freak out. I read anything else that's good and I immediately think "I'll never be that good." I think maybe I have what might be called a "commercial sensibility". I want to write "The Da Vinci Code", but good... not "Gravity's Rainbow".

Even on the off-chance that I'm doing something right and I'm successful, am I doomed to be the new Michael Bay, the new Laurell K. Hamilton... making lots of money but hardly readable (or watchable)? And what if I'm not successful? My second biggest fear after death is that this all won't work out, and I'll have to go to plan F, and I'll never, ever, ever be happy.

I have to do this.

I'm not just in a mood because I read a good short story. I checked my phone messages last night and found a message telling me my interview for the Program Director position at the radio station was "tonight" (meaning Monday) at 8:15pm. I got this at about midnight on Tuesday, after spending over a week waiting for an e-mail or a note in my mailbox or something concerning this. I didn't go to the station meeting on Monday because I honestly didn't want to, and going to "Pan's Labyrinth" with

stdesantis seemed like a lot more fun. Flaky, maybe, but hardly any of the DJs even bother going to the damn meetings, so I think I'm still ahead... I even sent them an e-mail days in advance telling them I wouldn't be there and never got a response saying "oh, you should come because we're having these interviews"... I had my phone on me until at least 3pm on Monday, so this had to be VERY last minute. I honestly believe that this was intentional on their part, to try and find an excuse not to have to interview me. I've been told by neutral parties that some are still very upset with me behind closed doors for running against the very popular Music Director in the fall, even though if you ask what positions will be open all anyone will tell you is that "all positions are open every semester", and she's very good friends with and lives in the same house with many of the other top board members. I have put up with a lot of bullshit from that place (these are the same people who not only voted not to retain me as News Director, but didn't tell me until I showed up for the first meeting in summer and then said "By the way, we need your key back"), and I had pretty much had it. I also didn't hear about it afterwards... there was no phone call or e-mail saying "where were you?" So I had what one might call an animated discussion with someone in charge about this situation this morning after Broadcast Programming (though I stopped myself from calling it "bullshit" and instead said it was "pretty shady") and eventually managed to get him to schedule a replacement interview for this upcoming Monday night. This is officially the first time ever that the Chris trick of "stand your ground and eventually they'll give you whatever you want" worked for me. I'm just sick of this crap. I almost said "hell with this, I'm quitting the station completely", but then I decided that I wasn't going to keep from doing what was fun for me just out of spite.

So that pissed me off.

On that note, it's that time again...

REVIEWS!

"Pan's Labyrinth" - Magic realism at both its most magical and most real, this was a beautiful story that is about nothing less than the meaning of life. I felt like I could write a treatise on this film. All the individual elements are very strong, from the Score to the Special Effects. I'm not sure where this ranks in the pantheon of my favorite recent movies, but it was certainly my best experience since "The Fountain". I heard some complaints going in about the violence, but I found things mostly tastefully done. It is a violent story, but for most of the film Del Toro cuts and lights away from the worst of it. There was really only one moment where I found myself thinking "I didn't need to see that." Of course the best parts by far were the fantastical moments, which only take up so much of the film. The way they use it here, where fantasy is used to comment on reality, is why I love the genre as much as I do.

"The Queen" - Seeing this was a total whim, and it's certainly not what would normally be considered my kind of movie. I was into it, certainly moreso than, say, "Dreamgirls". The Oscars noms were right to put this in and keep "Dreamgirls" out, I think. (I can't remember if I reviewed that one on here or not. It was basically well done, and Hudson's performance was strong, but it suffered in my opinion from being a musical without good enough music.) Anyway, I found Michael Sheen's Tony Blair character to be the interesting, vital center of the film rather than Mirren's heavy Oscar favorite performance as Queen Elizabeth. I saw the film through his eyes... the royals live in an insulated world and are very strange, but their miscalculation about Diana's death is mostly innocent, and while they didn't like the girl they mostly don't wish her dead. I found myself taking the royal's side during the film... why cry that way, sleep out in the street, over someone who you never met? I found the grief over Diana completely confounding, both now and at the time. All the philosophical implications aside, the real strength of the film is the writing by Peter Morgan (Oscar Nom) and the performances... anyone with a remotely important part is absolutely flawless. And then there is the Queen's relationship with the lone stag haunting the Scottish highlands of Balmoral. I think that's the key to the entire film, and the moments that lift it above docudrama flatness.

"The Dresden Files" - SciFi's newest series is basically "Angel" watered down. Things could be worse... it could be "Charmed". I was into it when I watched it, wanting to know what would happen next. Thinking back, I find it borderline awful. So I think the truth is somewhere in between. Fortunately, the problems were more with the episode than the structure of the series... I think there might be enough pieces here (I've been talking about "pieces" a lot lately) to keep doing interesting stories. But the episode's plot was somewhere between dumb and nonsensical, and totally lacked an effective climax. (And that "Doom Box" is a major can of worms. Why doesn't our hero just do that every week?) It wasn't as funny or cool or as anything as it wanted to be. It just wasn't much of anything, in the end.

"Battlestar Galactica" - I was very happy with the return episode, including all the little bits of the plot. Here's hoping the move to Sunday wasn't a huge mistake. And most of all... nothing has ever looked cooler on screen than a star going nova. We learned this in "The Fountain", and it's still true here.

"Heroes" - It's back, too, and while not that much actually happened in "Godsend", all the elements were of such a high quality that I found myself very, very happy. It seemed like there was important stuff going on at the time. The fact that a hit American show sometimes pulls out the blatant poeticism of this week's last few moments, followed by that awesome final line... it makes me very happy. It also makes me redundant.

"Veronica Mars" - As if I needed a reason to love this show further: When their dorm has an International-themed party, where each room is a country (this sounds suspiciously like some of the crap that goes on here), the girls want to participate and meet guys without actually doing anything participatory. So they hang a sign on the door that says "Canada" and play Barenaked Ladies on their stereo. Problem solved. And it's a Mac episode! Hey ya!

For the record, Oscar's Best Picture choices: Babel, The Departed, Letters From Iwo Jima, Little Miss Sunshine, The Queen

Off the cuff, my five favorites from the same crop: The Fountain, V For Vendetta, Children of Men, The Departed, and... okay, Little Miss Sunshine. Or maybe Pan's Labyrinth.

The Cult of Artemis

Mon, 22 Jan 2007 08:03:28 GMT

Nothing happened today, and it was an emotional roller coaster. Storms happen inside my head in this little room, cold fronts and warm fronts, tornadoes and clouds.

I became heavily invested in the Colts/Patriots game, in a way that I don't think had anything real to do with the game. It was a great game, a game that felt historic as it was happening. The game was there with me, in the room... it was like a window on the depths. It became a symbol of the eternal struggle for justice. I'm totally serious.

Near the end of the first half, I couldn't untense my muscles and wanted to go somewhere where no one would hear me and scream obscenities. The problem with the world these days is that someone will always hear you.

The Patriots scored easily, the Peyton Manning threw a Pick Six to Samuel, and suddenly it was 21-3 Patriots. Manning was sacked three times in a row, the Colts looked like they were falling apart.

Things will always stay the same, and those who have now will always have, and I'll be stuck in this room forever with the same four white walls.

The Colts found their rhythm and scored before halftime.

I called Chris just to hear a friendly voice. He didn't pick up at first, and I left a long, rambling message about how I was going "fucking nuts". He called me back, even though I think I woke him up. He doesn't get many chances to sleep. We watched the rest of the game together, though we weren't in the same city.

To the acient Athenian, that would be proof of the existence of the gods.

The Colts came back very quickly, and they were beautiful doing it. Finally, bounces started going their way. Chris and I crowed at each moment.

I forgot about the walls, for just a few moments.

The Patriots fought back after the Colts tied it. Some guy named "Cedric Hobbs" returned the next kick eighty yards. I thought of "Roy Hobbs".

Chris and I talked about "The Natural". I loved that movie... but it was fucked up. It was never clear to me why he had special powers of home run hitting.

Just like it's never clear to me why the Patriots have special powers... they don't need talent, they get by on magic. Gaffney scored even though he didn't, but the Colts came back again and tied it. Things began to get hectic.

The fate of reality hung in the balance, but I was calm. I felt the best I had in days. And things were pure.

Jeff Saturday. Stephen Gostkowski. BOB SANDERS!

The strategy was the thing. All I have to do is figure it out.

Manning leads one last drive. Throws it thirty yards to the guy who was only playing because Ben Utecht was hurt. Reggie Wayne has one of those moments where the universe hangs in the balance. Joseph Addai walks in on a play that made me suddenly think of Ameche in '58.

Chris and I talk about why Manning can't watch his fate be decided. He sits with his head down, never glancing up, as they give it back to Brady with a minute left. Chris inists that he has to watch. I'm not so sure.

Brady drives the Patriots down the field and is still on schedule with twenty-four seconds left when a Colt DB named Marlin Jackson picks him off and slides to a halt. Manning falls on it one last time. He has lived up to his potential, Super Bowl or no. Final Score: Colts 38, New England 34.

A brilliant something engulfing me.

I feel like an Athenian. Almost tomorrow.

Shrimp N Parmasan, Spinach Dip, Maple Nut Blondie

Sun, 21 Jan 2007 07:11:11 GMT

I've gotten to the point with "In the Garage" where I can string something together out of spit and polish and it generally works.

I've been trapped in my room the past couple days by the snow and the cold and the weekend. This is the first weekend I can remember where I'd rather it wasn't the weekend, and I was out and doing stuff all day. I have bunches to write... but I really haven't been able to, much. It sucks ass. I've been told some people don't believe in Writer's Block. They didn't just have this weekend.

I was going more than a little nuts today. I called ltcolctcat, who was in town, taking a break from working way too hard and getting all the chicks down in Columbus, but it just wasn't going to work, and I ended up going out to Applebee's again with my folks. My Mom actually called her food "decadent". There a few words that are less appropriate when talking about Applebee's than that. It actually helped the craziness a little, after a while, though it was predictably pretty darn lame.

Looking forward to football tomorrow, and maybe less blockage.

Mark The Date

Fri, 19 Jan 2007 03:54:45 GMT

Let January 18th, 2007, be remembered as the day that I...

-Decided to write a story about a dragon slayer with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. This will totally work.

-Rescued my computer from the bowels of the Information Technology Department, like a lost kitten from the pound.

-Wandered around the Student Union searching for a meeting that it turns out is NEXT Thursday.

-Left the TV on after the Scrubs musical and officially got hooked on 30 Rock. I blinked and NBC became awesome.

-Got stir-crazy and went for a walk. At about the halfway point I discovered that it was FUCKING COLD. Am still stir-crazy.

Bureaucracy Strikes Again

Wed, 17 Jan 2007 21:54:38 GMT

Just an update, I think we got the virus troubles with my computer fixed, but the school's bureaucracy requires that they check it before they'll turn my internet access back on, and they're telling me they won't get to it until tomorrow. I spent Sunday at home, watching the football while my dad messed with the computer. Why can't they ever have these long weekends when I'm worn out... they're always early in the semester. Anyway, my life has otherwise been exceptionally uninteresting. All I can say is that some of the other people at this school consistently make me feel like an underachiever. Sigh.

Here's a random thought: Can we stop it with the songs about love, sex, and break-ups? I have a writing teacher this semester who forbids us to write stories about death, saying that if he didn't then everyone would write them. Death is a valid subject, but it's just so overused. I feel pretty much the same way about love songs. I haven't even been on a date since high school. I relate better to songs that are about the other 95% of life. Last 4 songs on my MP3 player: Ben Folds - "Adelaide", Evanescence - "Lithium", Midlake - "Roscoe", Be Your Own Pet - "Adventure". None of these are about relationships. All are great songs.

Would Saints/Colts not be the coolest Super Bowl ever?

My Computer Is Spartacus

Sat, 13 Jan 2007 18:27:25 GMT

This is just to let everyone know I'm still alive, though my computer might not be. Apparently, I'm an evil hacker out to destroy internet access for our entire building. This according to our IT department. I'm bored out of my skull, this being the first week of school, and now I have to go a block away just to access the internet. In the meantime, I honestly don't have much to say since I pretty much feel like this week has been a total waste. I did go to the movies... twice. "Children of Men" is a masterpiece of direction. "Curse of the Golden Flower" doesn't hold a candle to some of Zhang Yimou's other movies, but I was still okay with it.

It's Only Been a Couple Days, And We've Already Got The Game Of The Year

Wed, 03 Jan 2007 09:43:02 GMT

I just wanted to post about what happened yesterday... last night, actually.

It's hard to explain to non-sports people why sports people love sports so much. A great sporting event can get my endorphins running like nothing else... well, almost nothing else. For me, truly great games are something to be treasured, to be looked back on and remembered and loved. A great game is like great literature, coming together through chance and fate and strategy and skill. Baseball and Football are my favorites. Baseball because as a game it seems to me to be nearly perfect, almost serene in its beauty. Football because I enjoy to fast-paced strategy, like a chess game with options increased exponentially and the human element introduced. There's a strange sort of gravity to important games. Nothing is truly at stake, the losers won't be taken out and shot, but at the same time, glory and history is enough. There is both nothing and everything on the line.

One of my earliest coherent memories is the end of the 1990 Super Bowl, of the moment when Norwood's kick sailed wide and the Giants won.

After the Indians blew that Game 7 of the World Series in 1997, I threw up. But I still remember Charles Nagy flailing with his glove as Edgar Renteria's single sailed by him and into center field.

I can almost recite the 2000 Super Bowl back to you blow for blow. The one where Kurt Warner rose from obscurity stocking grocery shelves in Iowa to lead the St. Louis Rams to a Championship on the strength of his arm and a wide open offensive scheme nicknamed "The Greatest Show On Turf". But what I remember most is Steve McNair leading his Titans on one last, desperate drive, somehow escaping three defenders to get within striking distance of the goal line, with only enough time left for one more play... and then that image, where Kevin Dyson catches the ball and is tackled one yard short of the end zone as time expires. I remember how he reached out with the ball, still clawing for the goal line even though he must have known it was over. I honestly remember that moment much more vividly than, say, my own high school graduation.

The Fiesta Bowl last night was the best game I've seen in, well, a long time. The final score alone is worthy of note: Boise State (yes, Boise State) 43-Oklahoma 42. Oklahoma is a powerhouse program with a long, storied history, and a national title within the last decade. Boise State was an upstart, filled with players who were deemed not good enough by the big west coast schools, who exploited the cursory loophole designed to make smaller schools feel like they had a shot in College Football to make it into the game. But it's not the score that made this game one of those that I will always remember. It was the way it happened. It wasn't just one play, it was a series. I will always remember Jared Zabransky faking towards his triple receiver set on the right side and then handing the ball off behind his back to Ian Johnson, and everyone, even me, screaming when they realized there was no one between Johnson and the end zone, long after I've forgotten the names and faces of my college classmates.

Call me strange, call me shallow, but I'm still a little high.

2006: The Last Stand

Sun, 31 Dec 2006 23:57:56 GMT

Happy New Years everybody! Only about five and half hours left in 2006. As a year, it was kinda quirky. It was the year the internet finally lived up to its potential to become the repository of all knowledge, and also every dumbass in the universe. I began the year as a Junior and I'll end it as a Senior. I began it on my parent's couch and I'll end it on my parent's couch. I'm starting to think about moving out of Cleveland again. One more semester, and I'll be done at BW. I did a LOT of writing this year, most of it for "Watchers". I don't know if I'm closer to my dreams or not. I'm 22 now. I spent the summer at WTAM, and all year hosting "In the Garage" on WBWC, in what will probably be our only full year on that show. I don't know if anyone cares, but I always gotta keep up the tradition of the Dan Awards

Song of the Year: "I Will Follow You Into the Dark" by Death Cab For Cutie
Runner-up: "Knights of Cydonia" by Muse
Album of the Year: "Black Holes and Revelations" by Muse
Runner-Up: "Bottoms of Barrels" by Tilly and the Wall
Movie of the Year: The Fountain
Runner-Up: V For Vendetta
Book of the Year: His Majesty's Dragon by Naomi Novik
Runner-Up: Shriek: an Afterword by Jeff VanderMeer
TV Show of the Year: Battlestar Galactica
Runner-Up: Heroes
TV Episode of the Year: "Lay Down Your Burdens" - Battlestar Galactica
Runner-Up: "The Girl in the Fireplace" - Doctor Who

22 and Still Not Started

Thu, 21 Dec 2006 23:35:27 GMT

Christmas shopping! That was the headline, both Tuesday and today. I've finished mine up. I had a great time with ltcolctcat all day Tuesday, as we went meandering all over North Olmsted and Westlake, from Spencer's Gifts to Half-Price Books to the Hallmark store. Even Sears. Then dinner at Olive Garden with Big Gay ex-roommate, where we stayed long after we were done eating to discuss things like the His Dark Materials series and the differences between Sunni and Shiite Muslims. Chris bought me a new game for my birthday, Guild Wars, which sort of works on my computer but not really. Games seem to have passed our computers by... you now seem to a need a computer specially customized for gaming, which I don't have. The parts I did get to play were super-fun, though... I wish there were people I could play D&D with. The radio shift yesterday was mostly taken up by BW basketball against Mount Union, which was actually sort of okay with me. I spent the time on the internet. ;) Today was a long, pointless expedition involving my dad and me setting out for Strongsville in order to buy new cellular phones, and then not buying them. The reason we have not bought them for free over the internet is because my mom does not understand technology and is insisting we do this in person. The whole thing took about two and half hours due to at least two separate very wrong turns and lots of traffic.

Monday was my birthday. We didn't real do much. Went out to Red Lobster the day before because that was the day my mom felt like not cooking dinner. There was a very last-minute chocolate cake. I got two CDs, one of which was on my christmas list and other of which was on my Christmas list while the other is the "Official Roleplaying Soundtrack" for D&D. My other present was V For Vendetta on DVD.

My latest episode of Watchers came out this week. I wrote the story and half the episode. It's called "From the Bottom Up" and is kinda a different take on the show: http://www.thewatcherscouncil.net/new_episode.html

Happy Christmas, School Is Over

Fri, 15 Dec 2006 03:25:53 GMT

Well, the semester's over. Which is good, I suppose. I was REALLY, REALLY ready for it to be over. I mean really. Last thing was to show my film "Savior" for my final in Film Production & Direction. I have to confess I was never happy with it, and it was maybe a little painful to sit there and show it to everybody. I learned from that class that I'm definitely a writer, and by that I mean rather than a director. After the writing it was all downhill on this project... In other news, I'm not doing BuzzTV next semester, for vaguely related reasons.

Finals week kicked my ass. I'm running on maybe six hours sleep over the past three days. Anyway, yeah, I'm home now.

My birthday's on Sunday. I sort of just realized that.

The latest episode of "Watchers" is here: http://www.thewatcherscouncil.net/new_episode.html
I wrote bits and pieces. In this episode the Council gets its best lead yet on Heli, while meanwhile Faith and Willow head to rural Spain to investigate a rash of power-loss among local slayers that could have broader consequences. Also, Gabrielle returns!

I'd like to post more than I have. Probably will, over break. I'm really sleepy right now, though, so that's all.